Mom,
We are still planning on coming to spend Thanksgiving with you. However, there is both good and bad news that accompany this notice.
The good news is that we will not be deserting you as we have almost always done to participate in Black Friday. This year’s Black Friday will be dominated by online sales so we will not need for you to baby sit from 12:01 AM on Friday until God knows when. Bottom line? More quality time with your favorite grandchildren, without the worry of them getting out of hand. Of course, me and Jake will be close by and we will only need you to help keep the three boys occupied while we concentrate on getting the best online deals. Since Dad still has a hard time getting around, we will probably just get him another flannel shirt during the online sales event. He seems to like getting these since he has kept all the other shirts we have gotten him, unused and in their wrapper. Sally says that he is being practical and frugal by wearing the red flannel shirt until it is worn out, but I disagree and thinks that he likes being reminded of his favorite grandchildren every time he opens the drawer.
By the way, do you have Wi-Fi? If Pam is bringing her teenage kids and since all they do is spend time on their smartphones, we might need to look at changing the password to keep them from slowing our connection. Some people just don’t understand the true spirit of Thanksgiving. I have told our children that they will have to be satisfied with the TV in their rooms until they are at least 8 years old. You would think that most children their age would be grateful to have a plasma TV and gaming system in each of their rooms.
Speaking of TV, does the upstairs TV in Dads room still work? I think that his favorite part of Thanksgiving is sharing his room with the grandbabies. The kids know not to turn it up too loud when he is trying to rest, and we will bring our PlayStation from the house to hook up, so we don’t need to worry about cable. I think Dad, despite his protestations, enjoys seeing the kids play their video games instead of watching those silly football games. Besides, it will just be for three days since Jake wants to be home in time to watch the Bengals lose.
The bad news is that there is a chance that we may spread a virus that, if you or Dad were to catch, will most certainly be life changing for the worse, if not life ending or, at least so says the Governor. I cannot believe he thinks we are not old enough to take care of ourselves. Can you? I learned long ago not to listen to politicians and if the President says not to worry about it, why should we?
I know Aunt Mabel’s recent passing has been attributed to this “virus”, but she was 74 years old and because she didn’t have any kids, she should have spent more time traveling than seeking the comfort and companionship of others in that retirement community. It is no wonder she caught the flu. Its her own fault. I bet she would wish now that she had raised kids of her own and that she could have seen them every Thanksgiving to see how much they had grown. BTW – Is anyone going to make the corn pudding she always brought? I always liked that dish, even though she always used too much sugar.
I hope you do not expect us to wear a mask while we catch up on all the stuff that has happened since we last saw you. One of my favorite things about Thanksgiving, besides watching you cook, is the quality time of having all three of your daughters in that small kitchen that has provided so many memories. Those silly masks make it hard for me to breathe and even harder for me to understand the others. Me and the girls in our exercise club just make fun of it all. I mean it is not like we did not know how to practice safe sex when we were 16. Sometimes mask do serve a purpose…lol. That reminds me, I wonder if Daryl still comes to visit his parents for Thanksgiving. I have never understood why someone so gorgeous and sexy could marry such a plain Jane. I may go visit him while Jake and his buddies get together for beer and who knows what else on Saturday. Do you have his parents phone number?
I know my dear sister Sally will probably wear a mask. She still thinks that she is special because she works as a nurse in and ICU ward. With all the extra money she is bound to be making during this so-called crisis, working night and day throughout the week, I hope she lets loose of some of it and spends it on real Christmas gifts this year instead of giving each of us her latest writings or goodness forbid, another piece of her art. I mean who needs a family history to read when we get to see each other each Thanksgiving. I will admit that some of the photos she included were neat but that is about it.
I wonder who came up with the idea that Thanksgiving should only happen once a year? Obviously, they did not understand the demands in a household with two working parents. There is only so much time between work, gym, and band practice. If you did not live over an hour away, we would not even need to worry about the Governors silly guidelines interfering with our one time each year to spend time as a family and , if that weren’t bad enough, because of all the restrictions, I am not going to be able to bring the dessert I bring each year. Martha’s Bakery has had to go into quarantine after she and her husband tested positive for the virus. Now, I will have to bake something of my own to bring. I hope the Governor is happy about all the trouble he is causing.
I hope you do not let Pam bring the macaroni and cheese this year. I know having only a single oven in such a small kitchen makes it harder on you each year, what with the family growing as it has, but the woman doesn’t even realize that the reason they call it macaroni and cheese is because it needs a lot of cheese. I know she has her hands full taking care of their special needs son but if her husband would get a better paying job, she might be able to do more for others. I don’t know why she didn’t stop at two children like we did. If she had she wouldn’t have to worry so much and could spend more time looking after her oldest who I just know is going to give a family a black eye when she winds up pregnant at 15. Maybe we can get Daryl to come over to help carry Zack and his wheelchair in? Do you have his number?
While we are at it, our family will be spending Christmas at home as always. I think it is better for the kids to wake up in their ow beds and to see what Santa has brought them for being such angels. Plus, can you imagine us having to cart all their gifts back home in one vehicle? I mean really! I hope you will consider just giving them money again this year. They are so picky and hard to buy for and it is better if they get to pick out what they want you to give them. I will make sure they call you and let you know what you got them.
The Governor says we should consider minimizing our Thanksgiving plans so that we can have a better chance of a normal Christmas, but do you know what? They can keep trying to take away our freedoms, but they will not get my American Express card! Amazon delivers just like they always have, the restrictions be damned.
I need to go. We will catch up where I left off on Thursday at dinner. We will need to eat later in the day again as Jake likes to pal around with his friends for a few beers before we make the long 1 ½ drive. It is almost like I must drag him to come. Please don’t get started without us.
With all my love,
Your Favorite daughter, Karen
PS – We got a new puppy that I know you are going to love. I know you have allergies, but he is just the sweetest thing and so cute. He is not even full grown and weighs nearly 75 pounds. Just a big bundle of happy puppy. Tell Dad he will have to be careful using his walker around him. I would hate for the pump to have to go through life feeling guilty about causing Dad to fall.
Feel the Burg 